'Groomzilla on my hands'
Dear Mr. Sugar,
I'm getting married in 6 months and my fiance is driving me crazy with his outlandish wedding plans. He wants to be involved in everything even down to picking my dress, he wants to wear a white suit 'shudder' he wants to pick colours, he wants to wants to pick vendors, long story short he has appointed himself the official wedding planner. I'm
happy that he wants to be involved in the planning process but I think this is a bit extreme, how can I 'relieve' him of some of his responsibilities without hurting his feelings?
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Dear 'Groomzilla on my hands',
I agree, it does seem a bit extreme. It's unusual for a guy to want to be involved in every single aspect of the wedding planning. You've probably waited your whole lifetime for this moment and I'm sure you have plenty of ideas about what you want your wedding to be like.
Some societies are more egalitarian than others but in Nigeria where gender roles and the division of domestic labor are well defined it should not be too difficult to convince him. Don't underestimate the importance of communication in your relationship. I suggest that you talk to him and let him know how much you love him, how long you have waited for this moment, and how important it is for you to do the planning and themes. Perhaps you can leave one difficult aspect of the wedding that would not be much fun for you for him to complete, you know the old "babes in the woods routine" or "damsel in distress" us guys eat that up and he will feel needed. Good luck!
When people say to the woman
When people say to the woman its your day i dont get it. it is both your day. You should both be involved in everything. I certainly expect that of my partner who is also very involved in our planning. of course he cannot be involved in picking my dress because i am wearing it. if he absolutely wants to wear white "shudder" well then just explain to him sweetly why "shudder" it makes you shudder" to think of him wearing a "shudder" white suit argh!
I guess you have the extreme
I guess you have the extreme here.. i know most girls wish their fiances where a bit more involved in the process, but i guess both extremes are equally bad. Personally i feel the wedding day is his day too. You both just have to meet halfway unfortunately. I agree with Mr sugar, talk to him and share it, hopefully you'll reach a good compromise.
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