I read a lot of articles that start with ‘It’s wedding season again!’ and it makes me wonder what time of the year the writer is referring to. I actually think that as much as we try to promote equality of status in Nigeria, or in the world at large, we subconsciously think of wedding season as the time around the more extravagant weddings that we’ve read about in Ovation or on Sugar! Weddings. The longer the ‘celebration week’ and the bigger the pageantry of the ceremonies we observe, the more sense it makes to call it wedding season. True or False? (I’m not judging you, so don’t feel bad.)
Anyway, I envy people who choose to elope; and those who have small families and can dream about having simple weddings, without laughing at themselves. For the others who already know that their weddings would, more than likely, contribute to the ‘wedding season’, I am about to share one of the best kept secrets of wedding planning.
Be VERY attentive.
I remember when a friend of mine got married some years ago. She was very much on top of the planning. She searched for, and booked all her vendors herself. She chose the colour palettes. She designed her wedding IVs and addressed them all by hand in a beautiful calligraphic writing. She had it so well put together, that I already had her booked to plan my big day.
On her own big day however, some things went wrong, and because she was her own go-to person, people would come up to her at the high table to ask about a plan-B for the caterer who was stuck in traffic, or the MC replacement for the one who had caught the measles. Maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but you get the picture I’m trying to paint, right?
Girlfriend was stressed out before it was time to cut the cake. People had to keep reminding her to smile for the photos. No one should have to ask you to smile for a picture at your wedding. They should be caught up in never-ending picture-taking because you can’t stop smiling and looking fabulous! Don’t you think so?
I like planning weddings, but I’ve made up my mind that I’m just going to show up at mine, stand where I’m asked to and get married to the bloke of my dreams, looking ridiculously amazing while I’m at it.
I’ve heard many-a bride complain: “It’s my wedding, why can’t I have it the way I want?” The wise ones have come to understand that everything goes smoothly when the family is happy. So, let them do all the stress. I’m not asking you to settle for a wedding that doesn’t please you in the bid to eliminate stress. Truth is you don’t need to be totally engrossed in every single detail of your wedding. I understand your fears. I know you want it to be perfect. I know you don’t want City People to have anything bad to say about your do. Pick your battles, my dear.
Personally, I don’t care what’s on the menu for my wedding. I’m only concerned that each of my 300 guests gets a satisfying meal. I’m not going to stress about the confectioner who provides the cake. Will it be pretty when Hubby and I pose to cut it? Will the top-most tier be a red velvet fruit cake? The center pieces used on the tables don’t require my utmost attention. I just want them to be small enough that they don’t cause any obstruction, but stunning enough for OOH!s and AAH!s
As the bride, or as the couple, you know the moments of the wedding that mean the most to you. You know what parts you want to be memorable. Just pick those and deal with them. Allow your mother and sisters and aunties, and all those people who want to be involved, worry about all the other details. All they need from you is your stamp of approval. Don’t sweat the little things. Now, I’m not dismissing wedding planning as a ‘little thing’, I’m simply trying to help you understand that you have to decide what’s most important to you.
This is also why Wedding Planners are important. But if your budget can’t fit a coordinator, you now have a D-I-Y tip to help you plan your wedding without really planning it. It’s time to call in favors from all those paddies who owe you.
Now that I’ve shared my secret with you, please invite me to your wedding. Your husband’s best-man may just be the guy of my dreams.
By Ayomide Fawole