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Knowing one is being abused in marriage requires self-consciousness. Without self-awareness, the abused will constantly make up excuses to avoid or ignore this reality. If you find yourself in an abusive marriage or you deny that you are in one, here are things you need to do to help yourself:
Acknowledgement
Realising that you are in an abusive marriage is the first step. Marriage is truly a wholesome journey and even when there are disputes, abuse shouldn't be on the menu and should never be normalised. Acceptance will help you seek solutions.
Speak to someone
Reach out to someone. Don't second guess the idea that you can handle it all by yourself because no one can. Being able to withstand abuse in marriage has no medal attached to it. Think of your wellbeing and find a way to escape your situation. There are a lot of organisations that can provide a lasting solution.
Address the root cause
Try your best to find out where it all went wrong or how it all started as it will help you in moving forward. If you keep making excuses for your abuser you will never be free. Most times the abuser has always been one, albeit salient.
Be security conscious
Your wellbeing has to be top on your priority list. Being aware of the abuser’s red flags will help liberate you sooner than you think.
Be Strong
You need to be strong, and I do not mean physically strong to fight the abuser. You need to be emotionally strong as it will take a lot from you to cut off from the abuser especially when you have both come a long way and shared so much.
Exit Plan
After all has been said and done, come up with an escape plan. It will not just happen overnight, it is something you have to be intentional about because most abusers cannot be predicted. Have a blueprint mapped out and on the day you execute it nobody will see it coming.
Escaping an abusive marriage is usually easier said than done but with a step in the right direction, you will find that happiness and peace of mind is not a luxury.