As the Benjamin Franklin quote goes, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.
Every fulfilling and successful marriage is a product of adequate preparation and therefore, it is safe to say the marriage you prepare for will determine your reality.
It is not enough to only prepare for the wedding (a/couple day(s) event) which is just an initiation into the marriage (forever) in itself. And just like you don’t learn how to shoot a gun in the battlefield, you should prepare for marriage and not in marriage.
Here are some things every man should do before saying “I do”:
- Acquire knowledge on the topic marriage. Read books, go to seminars, talk to married friends and elders, this will not only help you manage expectations; it will also help you to get ready mentally.
- Develop a quality relationship with God. When things are not as we want it to be, the only thing that keeps us in check and love is our regard for a Supreme Being, not another human.
- Discover your purpose and makes plans on how to go about it. As the Chief Sailor of your marriage boat, you want to be sure you have your act together and have enough room to carry someone along or even help navigate theirs.
- Have a mentor that you respect and can be accountable to; this will keep you in check and guide your decision.
- Have a stable job. No matter how little; you want to have something come in regularly to take care of your needs.
- Get your finance game together. You want to get an apartment and get your savings to a reasonable level. The last thing you want is not to be able to cater for your growing family.
- Cultivate character, self-control, hygiene. There’s no way you would live peacefully with another human if you don’t have your character in check, have some form of self-control (which you will need a lot) and be very hygienic.
- Get in touch with your Domestic Side. You need to be able to do some domestic chores right. It’s a partnership, and at the very least you should be able to help out around the house.
- Understand your Future Wife. Like the saying goes; “when in doubt, please ask”. There is nothing as shocking as assuming your partner is one thing and finding out she is totally a different person. Please do your homework.
- Take a Trip. If you can afford it take a trip with your guys and have a 'great time' (within reason)! It may be the last time you ever get a chance to do so again.
Always remember that there are no rules to marriage and nothing is cast in stone, but know that accidental fulfillment in marriage is rare; there's much stronger chance of enjoying your marriage if prepare for it.
Wish you all the very best!
Pic Source: Instagram / @groominspiration