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When Love Gets Twisted

All thanks to reading romantic novels and watching lots of "love movies", we fell in love with the idea of “love”. The mass media has also helped in painting a misleading picture of what love ought to be.

Most times, the picture of love portrayed is just rooted in obsession, lust, and infatuation. As a result of this, we grow up with some wrong idea of what love is.

Many people get it all wrong in their relationship because they have a wrong idea of what love ought to be. Thus, there is a need to differentiate what love truly is and what obsession is to have a healthy relationship.

1.    Manipulation.
Love does not give room for manipulation because love accepts things the way they are especially when there is a breakup. On the other hand, obsession gives room for manipulation. It does not accept reality and makes the partner feels guilty by saying things like if you leave me, I will kill myself.

2.    Inability to focus
Obsessive causes lack of focus. One won’t be able to focus at work, home. This is because the obsessive relationship occupies all thoughts and consumes ample quantities of time. An obsessive partner even while at work constantly tries to reach their partner by phone, sends emails, daydreams, writes poetry, stalk their lover, etc. Love gives room for focus at work or any other place. It enables you to have your personal space and not feel trapped or stalked.

3.    Feeling of extreme depression
Obsession makes an individual wrap their entire identity in the relationship. They feel extremely depressed when there is an issue in the relationship, and they always fear their partner might leave and which eventually leads to a low self-esteem. Love allows you to have your space, pursue your goal and not wrap your whole existence in the relationship. Even if there is an issue or a misunderstanding in the relationship you won’t feel extremely depressed because you know things will be resolved.

4.    Selfishness
Obsession is selfish because an obsessive lover wants to be in control of your life, want to know about everything happening. An obsessive partner hardly gives you space to think or breath. In fact, an obsessive partner can be abusive. Love is not selfish and understands the need to have space.

These are some of the differences between love and obsession. You can as well share some more in the comment section. Let's learn together.


Photo Credit: huffpost

Written by Temitope Ikusika