What Men Want, Really!
Submitted by Sugar Weddings on Tue, 2009-09-15 10:46
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus…even though I haven't read this John Gray's New York Times bestseller, I have seen Mel Gibson's movie "What Women Want". A healthy relationship takes two to tango and if we men can sit through a hundred and thirty minutes of a female-sensitivity proficiency test, women too could do with a few tips on meeting our needs. Here is our manifesto on figuring us out.
Men love Mo' – really we do. Not the show Moments with the Mo' but the personality. Men want a woman who can be courageous about what they think and communicate it to them without jabbing their ego or underrating their sensitivity. The Mo' secret is truth and kindness. Although, 65% of men do not like to be asked questions about themselves, as a survey by MensHealth shows, communicating your opinion or standpoint without angst or criticism is the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down.
Forget what the gossip blogs tell you, any man would kill to date Mercy Johnson – well, haven't we all picked our tally numbers. Mercy makes a man believe that as long as a woman is confident, she’s sexy. Men love confident and secure women. It is pandering to myth or out-dated tradition to think men only want their women to need them. Men also want women to be self-sufficient and have a life of their own. This makes for a wholesome relationship where the man and the woman are two whole personalities coming together to make one whole.
No one will say Stella Damascus earns her reputation by living dangerously, as far as romance is concerned but we sure give it to her – she is the icon for a non-manipulative relationship. Women easily misunderstand our silence to mean we want little or no communication and find it an opportune moment to criticize us. We hate to be conned into speech, action or any choice for that matter. No mind games, no blame games, guilt trips or emotional blackmail. If you want something, tell us honestly, without hesitation.
While art and poetry praise the elegance and fullness of the African woman’s personality and presence, it all comes to nought without that small pinch of spice called fun. My African woman of fun is Kate Henshaw Nutall. She takes my breath away. Men love a woman of good humour – laughter lightens the heart and for men, they need some balance in the relationship since women pay attention so much to details, they love it when they can unwind and just have fun. So every man would like to hang out with Kate after straightening the details of life's routines.
The last thing I would say men really need is a faithful woman. The epitome of this brand of fidelity is everybody’s momma. Mother can do no wrong. Mothers represent our need for stability in relationships. Even through the rough times, she'll always be there and every man craves this steadfastness in their romantic relationship. Women should dismiss such myths that all men cheat, it only makes them open and more admissive of this need.
Our needs are not carved in stone, things have changed and role reversal is common in relationships. What men and women alike cherish is being loved and appreciated for what they bring to the table. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus but really sometimes they have (dual) Venusian citizenship and some women are nationalized Martians.
By Sochi A.