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The S Word

When you and your partner have an argument or one of you upsets the other, the simplest of remedies is often avoided. Why is that men would rather give in (silently) or sulk (again, silently) and hope that Time would 'heal' the situation? Why do women insist that they are right? (Well, that's because they usually are) Why does 'he' have to sleep on the couch if 'she' is really upset with him? - Since 'hell hath no fury greater than a woman scorned' men tend to comply. And why does 'Sorry' seem to be the hardest word to say to someone you love?

Well it wasn't hard for Elton John, nor was it sufficient for Tracy Chapman who complained that 'Sorry' is all that 'he' can say. Of course if you want your relationship to work you have to admit your faults and apologize. For women, this wouldn't make you appear to be the weaker sex. And for the men, saying sorry doesn't make you any less of a man (in fact that would make you a 'gentle-man').

It's no surprise that the ratio of male to female apologies remains at 99:1 – Males are compelled to apologize for leaving the toilet seat up, forgetting her birthday and continuously working till late. The only one female apology would tend to be for giving her man a hard time during the excruciating ordeal e.g. cold dinners, Yes & No-type answers, and of course no hanky-panky!

So just how do you say sorry in a special way? They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Throw on your apron and rustle up his favorite home-cooked meal. Don't worry if you lack the skills of a gourmet chef. Just use Extra Virgin Olive oil…problem solved! But for 'her' get a gift…not just any gift but one that you know she'll love. If she's a die-hard romantic then you can't go wrong with some fresh wild roses. If she's a sweet-tooth then why not get her a box of Ferrero Rocher? And if she loves her accessories then get her designer shoes or a bag, you know – Gucci this, Prada that. Don't try to be smart and get her knock-offs or you'll really be sorry!

Finally, there is no right or wrong way to say 'Sorry'. Saying it (like you mean it) shows your partner that you care. It should also mean that you do not intend to say it again in the near future for 'that' same reason. The word shouldn't be used in anger. Think about how you would want to hear it from your partner and do the same. Don't make it a habit either. The S word would lose its meaning and its power will eventually disappear like a fart in the wind. If you work on doing more of the things that make your partner happy then you'll find that you have less to be sorry about – and if you didn't know that then I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner : )

Written by T Anthony