The last person we'd think to turn to for sex and dating advice is an old guy who practices celibacy. But in a 256-page document on love and relationships, Pope Francis tackles issues of marriage, sex, and family planning with a markedly looser—and cooler—approach than you might expect. The tone of the paper, aptly titled The Joy of Love, focuses less on strict rules and more on individual feelings and conscience. And after taking a look, we’re pretty confident that the Pope would have some killer words of wisdom about our last Tinder date.
Here are our favorite pieces of advice:
Physical Contact Is Important
Pope Francis agrees with your mother that you should never go to bed angry. But a lot of times, that’s easier said than done. His advice: Keep things physical in your relationship—and not just in the bedroom. In the paper, he quotes a statement he made in 2015: “And how am I going to make peace? By getting down on my knees? No! Just by a small gesture, a little something, and harmony within your family will be restored. Just a little caress, no words are necessary.” Hugs for everyone!
Trust Is Key
Obviously, you know you should trust your partner. But according to Pope Francis, it’s about more than just feeling confident that bae won’t do anything shady next time he or she is out with friends. Real trust, he says, goes beyond that. "It means we do not have to control the other person, to follow their every step lest they escape our grip. Love trusts, it sets free, it does not try to control, possess and dominate everything. This freedom, which fosters independence, an openness to the world around us and to new experiences, can only enrich and expand relationships," Francis writes.
Listening Is Evertything
Try to see things from your partner's POV next time you're at each other's throats over something silly. "Never downplay what they say or think, even if you need to express your own point of view. ... We ought to be able to acknowledge the other person's truth, the value of his or her deepest concerns, and what it is that they are trying to communicate, however aggressively," Francis writes. And science even backs him up on this one—according to researchers, this is the best thing to say to end a fight with your sig o.
Good Sex Is Your Divine Duty
Traditionally, the Catholic Church has been painted as a pretty sex-negative place, but Pope Francis is here to set the record straight on sexy times. "God himself created sexuality, which is a marvelous gift to his creatures," Francis writes. And he even makes a special effort to emphasize the fact that sex is about pleasure for both parties. Spending time between the sheets (or in the shower, or on the dining room table…) is "meant to aid the fulfillment of the other," he writes. But as much as it’s about your partner, it’s also about you. Personal satisfaction is key, according to Francis. Can we get an amen?