As a career coach and a medical doctor, I speak to people who have had to
put their careers on hold for a spouse, partner, and a relationship or to
raise a family. We all know starting a family and having kids’ can be
daunting. No one has said it is an easy thing to do but it is being done
and not just being done, it is being done alongside career progression.
If there is anything I often tell people, it is not to stop your ship from
sailing for anyone, whoever loves you will join you to sail your ship
rather than stop you. There are few things to do to maintain your career,
progress in it and remain happily married.
Understanding your spouse:
This is very essential. If you both are on the same page before you get
married, then it wouldn’t be a problem when the marriage starts. Get to
know what both your careers involve, it will prepare you as to what to
Now that you both are on same page and understand both career paths, you
have to plan. Planning involves how many kids you want to have, after
school plans for the kids, your work schedules, juggling a family and your
careers etc. With a plan in place, the job will be a
lot easier. Don’t forget to make allowances for mistakes by having a plan B
Breaking the rules:
It’s ok to break the rules sometimes. The woman is expected to be in the
kitchen, prep the kids for school, do most of the house chores and in
modern days still work, while dads stay out of home chores and provide for
the family. Breaking the rules sometimes means dads can help out in the
kitchen, bath the kids while mum rests or prepares for an exam that will
take her to the next level in her career and vice versa.
Have a goal:
Some people hide behind raising a family to explain not being on a career
path or progressing in one. If you’ve chosen to make a home, and you are
satisfied with that, great. If not, you should set goals, plan a path and
find ways to work towards it. Early planning will give room for early
retirement for anyone who has plans to retire early and focus on family.
If you are lucky enough to have parents alive and retired, they can help
with looking after the kids while you work. It’s every parent’s joy to see
their grandkids so unless failing health makes it impossible; they will be
glad to help when you need them to.
Marriage does not have to mean a failed career; you can make it work.
Dr Mute blogs at berrysmotivation.com