Hurt & Confused
Dear Mr. Sugar, I found out my boyfriend was in a long distance relationship with another lady while (they have been dating for much longer than we have) we were dating.
After much drama, he broke up with her because he couldn't do the distance but never told her anything about me. Recently I found out that she may be moving back home to Nigeria and I'm not sure what to think, considering his only reason for ending things with her was the distance. Other than this our relationship is fantastic we spend a lot of time together and when we're not physically together we spend hours and hours on the phone. On one hand I feel like I should just let the whole thing go, cause I don't want to get caught up in some 'crazy ex-girlfriend/girlfriend drama' but another part of me wants to hold on and see how this ends up. Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Do you think he's just being a guy and telling me what I want to hear?
- Hurt & Confused
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Hello 'Hurt & Confused'
In other words you caught your boyfriend cheating on you; he obviously doesn’t respect you or the relationship that you share enough to let his real girl friend know the situation. You already know the answer to your question. If you enjoy his companionship than by all means continue to spend time with him but don't take this relationship serious and make sure you practice safe sex or the road will be full of even more pain, heartache, and deceit.
- Mr. Sugar
its easy to dump but what if
its easy to dump but what if he truly loves her ?
i have a question for mr . sugar ......
lets be practical in d real world of today .... ratio of women to men is like 3:1. in those 3 u have the no 1 chic-the apple of the guys eye....chic no 2 'the i kinda like her chic but im not serious wit her' and chic no 3 'the passerbys'. in the world of today women are getting too comfortable with being No 1 and not being No 1 and only. how just is this? because if u leave 1 wats d probability that the next guy wont do same or worse .
i ve been in a relatnship for 2 years + and i just found out im No 1 but not one and only....i knw he loves n he cares but im sorry thats not good enuff ....
on a good day i wud hve ended it d second i found out but im thinkin revenge is much sweeter after all how sure am i that if i leave dis one and go out wit sum oda chap who s givin me googly eyes, he wont do the same.....
Mr sugar . i nid ur take on this ...
You are absolutely right
You are absolutely right there is no guarantee that if you get rid of the aforementioned chap that the next one will not be worse. However this much I am sure of; if you choose to go on this way accepting infidelity that is all you will ever attract, men who cheat and treat you with very little respect. Men can smell desperation in women like a shark smells blood in the sea we feed off of it and we will never respect a women who knowingly tolerates infidelity.
You have to lay down the law; if he leaves, because you wont tolerate the infidelity, let him walk that is what is going to happen inevitably anyway. It is important that when you discover that he has been unfaithful that you make him extremely uncomfortable. If he tows the line then he is the one, if not there is plenty of fish in the sea or dogs in the kernel.
I think your case is even
I think your case is even easier easy since he is just your boyfriend. I will advise u dont go any further with him, back out now b4 he ropes u in. My case is worse because my present hubby had/has an affair b4 marriage he is trying to end and i already have 2 kids. I had no idea b4 me. But where do i go............ RUN MY SISTER, you cant imagine.
we girls just like to live
we girls just like to live in a bubble. the truth is, you knew he was in a long distance relationship when you started getting it on with him. you must have told yourself you are just having fun but girl...you got hung on him. The long distance gf wouldnt move back home if they hadnt had the discussion to try to make things work.
No doubt you've grown on him....spending "ALL" ur time with him. i think you should give him space, let him miss you and come after you. Btw, i dont understand why he should eat his cake and have it. He's a cheating whore!
Dump his a*se fast! Why
Dump his a*se fast! Why would you want anything to do with a man who's so disrespectful to two women at the same time? He must think he's pretty special, and will continue to do so if you let him.
communication!pls talk to
communication!pls talk to him...let him know your fears and see what he has to say...he may truly be done with her
Wow, just be careful, guard
Wow, just be careful, guard your heart somehow, because this is not looking good, but for all we know, it might not be a problem and he might truly love you, but what makes me uncomfortable is the fact that he didn't mention you to her and it took a while for you to find out about her. This bit sounds wrong because as Mr Sugar said, he was cheating. depends on how you feel about cheating.
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