How Do I Politely Decline To Be My Friend's Maid Of Honour

Dear Sugar,

I am getting married in January, and my friend is getting married in December. She has asked me to be her maid of honour, but I have my own wedding to plan! How do I decline without hurting any feelings?

- Hauwa

Dear Hauwa, 

           The best policy is always honesty. Talk to your friend and let her know you're concerned that you won't be able to focus on her wedding as much as she might want you to. Find out how much time and effort she actually expects you to contribute; you might find out that it's completely do-able. But if not, you may consider being a bridesmaid instead of maid of honour. If that still seems too much, just let her know you don't want to let her down by not pulling your weight as part of the wedding party, but you'll be there supporting her as a guest. She should understand; after all, she knows exactly what dealing with wedding planning stress is like.

Best wishes.