Competing with a Ghost

Dear Sugar,

God forgive me but I feel like I’m competing with a ghost. My husband’s ex-wife died after battling with cancer for several years, while I understand that he may never completely get over her, I feel like I am constant competition with her. There is a GIANT photo of her in our living room, and the only time I have brought up taking it down we ended up having a big fight. Am I asking too much that he moves on finally?

Thanks Mrs. C


Dear Mrs. C,

The truth is death makes everyone a saint, you can't compete with a memory and you really shouldn't feel the need to. While I certainly agree that the photo has to go, maybe going about it a different way will do the trick. In your position I will involve a family member of his (mother, aunt, sister, father...etc) who he has a lot of respect for and who also had a good relationship with his deceased wife. If that doesn't get you immediate results, excercise some patience as everyone mourns in their different way and try again in a few months. Good luck!