A wedding can be more than a union of two people. Sometimes, it creates a whole new family; a bride can become more than a wife and a groom can become more than a husband. When there are kids from a previous union, they become step-parents when they say their vows.
The children as well gain new siblings and new adults in their lives. It can be an emotional process for everyone involved, and it will take time to feel like one family, but the wedding is a milestone. It signifies that this is a permanent change and the beginning of a new life together. The best thing to do is to include the children in your wedding. It is a gesture that says that you recognise that it is a big step for them as well, and that they are important.
Here are some tips on how to go about it:
1. Include them in the bridal party Younger kids can be flower girls (little girls love to dress up) and ring bearers. If they’re older, they can be bridesmaids and groomsmen.
2. Give them a role in the ceremony The kids can do readings during the ceremony. Even kids as young as five can do it, if they’re confident and willing.
3. Write them into your vows Recognising them in your vows is a wonderful way to remind them that you’re committing to being a family with them as well.
4. Let them say their own vows. It should come before yours. It can be as simple as saying “I do” or “I will” to a question vow, where they are asked if they will love and support their parent and new step-parent; or older children can have the option of writing their own vows!
5. Let your kids walk you down the aisle You can switch it up and have this instead of your dad or both parents walking you down the aisle. It shows that they support your happiness.
6. Have your kids perform If they have a special talent or enjoy singing, poetry or dancing, and they don’t mind being in the spotlight, it will mean a lot to them to make their performance a part of your big day.
7. Allow the kids to give a toast You’re celebrating their new family, so if they want to give a nice little speech and wish you the best, encourage them and take it as a compliment.